The sad truth is that dating in Colombia isn’t dangerous—as long as you have a good head on your shoulders and know what to look for. In this post, we’ll go through the seven red flags every tourist and expat must know before dating in Colombia.

If you want to find love here—and not end up on the wrong side of a bad situation—this is your essential guide.

My name is DJ. I’ve been living in Colombia for over ten years. I’m a business owner, a husband, and a father to three beautiful children. And I’m here to help you avoid the mistakes I made when I first arrived.

The Most Dangerous Red Flags to Avoid

1. If She Seems Too Good to Be True — She Probably Is

If you’re a five and she’s a ten, and somehow she’s completely obsessed with you from day one, be cautious. There’s a difference between chemistry and manipulation.

Many YouTubers and “passport bros” make it sound like every Colombian woman will fall at your feet just because you’re from North America or Europe. That’s not reality.

The majority of decent Colombian women have self-respect. They’re not desperate. If a woman who’s way out of your league is giving you over-the-top attention, chances are she’s got an agenda—and it’s not love.

2. Jealousy and Possessiveness

If she’s overly jealous, controlling, or suspicious from the start, that’s not passion—it’s a red flag.

When I first came to Colombia, I dated a woman who was constantly demanding my phone password, checking my messages, and asking who I was talking to. I thought maybe it was a “Colombian thing.”

It wasn’t. Turns out, she was still married. Her husband had no idea. She’d been lying to both of us.

If a woman doesn’t trust you before you’ve even given her a reason not to, it usually means she’s hiding something herself. A decent, emotionally healthy woman will give you trust until you break it. Jealousy that borders on control is not love—it’s a warning.

3. Love Bombing and Fast Intimacy

If she’s telling you she loves you after two dates, or she’s immediately open to sex, it’s not romance—it’s manipulation.

This kind of “love bombing” is designed to make you let your guard down. It’s either an attempt to hook you emotionally so she can take advantage of you later, or a sign of deep emotional instability.

Either way, run. Healthy women don’t rush intimacy with strangers.

4. She Wants to Meet at Your House or Hotel

This is one of the most dangerous traps. If a woman you’ve just met on Tinder or WhatsApp suggests meeting at your Airbnb or hotel, don’t do it.

It’s a common tactic used by criminal gangs who target foreigners. The setup goes like this: she meets you, drugs your drink with scopolamine (known as “Devil’s Breath”), and you wake up hours—or days—later with everything gone.

Never invite someone new to your home or hotel. Meet in public places only. And if you do make the mistake of inviting someone over, make sure there’s building security, that her ID is logged at the front desk, and that she can’t leave without your authorization.

But honestly—just don’t do it.

Dating purely for sex in Colombia will almost always end badly. If that’s your goal, you’re setting yourself up for catastrophe. Real love here, like anywhere else, starts with family, values, and respect.

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Subtle Manipulation, Boundaries, and Financial Traps

5. She Can’t Handle Being Told “No”

This is one of the most overlooked signs—and one of the most important.

If she can’t handle hearing the word “no,” that’s a problem. Early on, make it a point to set boundaries. Say no sometimes—no, you can’t go out tonight; no, you’re busy working.

If she reacts by sulking, throwing a tantrum, or becoming passive-aggressive, you’ve learned everything you need to know. That kind of emotional immaturity leads to chaos.

Healthy women respect boundaries. Manipulative or unstable women test them.

6. She Asks for (or Guilt-Trips You Into Offering) Money

If she starts telling you sad stories about her sick grandmother, her broken car, or her injured cousin—stop right there.

This is the oldest trick in the book. She may never directly ask for money but will tell you just enough to make you offer it. That way, she can say, “I didn’t ask—you offered.”

It’s manipulation, plain and simple.

Here’s how to tell the difference:

• A scammer uses guilt and emotion to make you feel responsible for her problems.
• A decent woman will be embarrassed to ask and will let you verify her story if it’s real.

If you say “no” politely and she gets angry or cuts you off, congratulations—you just avoided a scam.

Remember, being a gentleman means paying for dates, not funding someone’s life.

7. She Moves Too Fast—or Her Story Doesn’t Add Up

If you’ve just met and she’s already talking about moving in, getting married, or meeting your family, slow down. When something feels off, it usually is.

Take your time. A genuine relationship in Colombia, like anywhere else, grows slowly and naturally.

Final Thoughts

Dating in Colombia can be an amazing experience. The country is full of kind, beautiful, family-oriented women—but it also has its share of traps.

If you learn to recognize the red flags, stay grounded, and date with purpose instead of impulse, you’ll be fine.

Don’t chase chaos. Look for character.

And if you want to go deeper on what Colombian women truly look for in a man—and why they love dating foreigners—check out my next post:
“The Unspoken Truth About What Colombian Women Really Want.”

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